Lauryn Hill Would be Proud… “Them Gainz” is a Perfect Parody of “That Thing”

Some people have a lot of time on their hands, and we’re okay with that… This is spot on! And the singing is actually really good. We think Lauryn Hill would approve!

Click here to see some other hilarious fitness parody videos.

Tenth CrossFit-related release. Lyrics and music performed by Mark Montcalm. Filmed on location at Triple River CrossFit, Three Rivers, MI. Special thanks to Marilyn R (muscle), Jessy B (voice), Delta M (talent), Katie C (camera), and Joanna B (filming).
Lyrics below:

“Bros, you know you better work out
Some girls, some girls are only about-
Them gainz, them gainz, them gainzzz.
Them gainz, them gainz, them gainzzz.

It’s been two months since your girl signed up at the gym,
Now she’s so hardcore she even goes on the weekend.
Stoked that her max squat’s jumping up ten,
Late to her own birthday cuz she’s getting reps in.

You’re dreading high-fives from her sandpaper skin
Handprints on her thighs tell ya where she’s been.
Double-entendres no one’s getting, with words like
WOD’s, jerks, and snatch, and thrusting.

Wearing headbands, but she knows how to rock it.
Got so many abdominal muscles, she keeps two in her pocket.
Crunching protein powder, never mix the milk in.
Yeah, point to a bruise and she’ll tell you when.

Thought you’d be nice, take her on vacation
But she’s already Googling the city you’ll be in,
Looking for a CrossFit box to drop in.
Airplane: AbMat, overhead bin.

You know she means her lats when she talks about the Twins.
Complaining in the PM, in the AM she’ll be doing it again.
And again…”

Fat Tony

Editor, Co-Founder

Fat Tony lives in Long Beach, CA and has been training at CrossFit Long Beach since 2013. Fat is a professional photographer and video producer having worked for companies such as PurePharma, NPGL, MET-Rx, ECC, Red Bull, and ESPN.

Follow Fat: @fattonybmx |
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